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True Colors
From the moment I met him, I knew he was different. His personality and humor were as colorful and unique as a rhyme scheme in a Shakespearean sonnet. I was impressed with his ability to speak about romance even as a victim of such a heavy heartache. Looking back, I didn’t take the time to decipher the poems that so gracefully fell from his lips. Like any phenomenal poet, a deceiver chooses their words wisely and finds hidden pleasure in twisting the meanings.
It is almost poetic, the way it ended. Shakespeare couldn’t have written it better himself. It wasn’t until I stood there watching his own words go up in flames that I realized how deceiving he truly was. It wasn’t like a polyester blouse posing as a 100% silk masterpiece. In all honesty, I know these men and I feel that I can spot one from a mile away. It was more like purchasing a fabulous 100% cashmere wrap and later discovering the 15% blend label proving several months of a wasted investment. Don’t get me wrong, some people are content with a cheap blend of narcissism and insecurities, but I am not one of them. I know I deserve more.
In order for a relationship to work, both people must be on the same level of maturity. This is why a number of times a gap in age will prevent a healthy relationship from forming. Needless to say, I have always questioned why people say that age is just a number. I feel that I can finally understand this widely accepted statement through recent events. Maturity is not always reflected in the number of years someone has walked this earth. Maturity is shown through patience, honesty and confidence. Because of his lack of these qualities, it was foolish for me to expect him to be a man. It is now obvious to me; he is still that 20 year old boy he mocked for his dishonesty with women.
It makes me cringe to think that I was willing and ready to play a positive role in picking up his baggage and helping him move on. Not only did he have no intentions of packing up his old wardrobe and leaving it behind, he continued to shop online for new additions to his long list of lies. On the other hand, I pity him for being so driven by his own insecurities that he felt the need to fill himself with the attention of other people. It is obvious to me, he is afraid of being alone. It can be compared to the desperate woman that does not go shopping to buy; she shops only to get the undivided attention of the salesperson. For this reason, I am not angry or distraught by his decisions and deception. I sympathize for his self-doubting nature.
The difference between you and I is that I will not deceive you by misleading or making you wonder. With that, I should let you know that my respect for you is off the table and so is my heart. I now see your true colors and they are duller than I had expected. Don’t call me up, because you should know I won’t be there.
In order for a relationship to work, both people must be on the same level of maturity. This is why a number of times a gap in age will prevent a healthy relationship from forming. Needless to say, I have always questioned why people say that age is just a number. I feel that I can finally understand this widely accepted statement through recent events. Maturity is not always reflected in the number of years someone has walked this earth. Maturity is shown through patience, honesty and confidence. Because of his lack of these qualities, it was foolish for me to expect him to be a man. It is now obvious to me; he is still that 20 year old boy he mocked for his dishonesty with women.
It makes me cringe to think that I was willing and ready to play a positive role in picking up his baggage and helping him move on. Not only did he have no intentions of packing up his old wardrobe and leaving it behind, he continued to shop online for new additions to his long list of lies. On the other hand, I pity him for being so driven by his own insecurities that he felt the need to fill himself with the attention of other people. It is obvious to me, he is afraid of being alone. It can be compared to the desperate woman that does not go shopping to buy; she shops only to get the undivided attention of the salesperson. For this reason, I am not angry or distraught by his decisions and deception. I sympathize for his self-doubting nature.
The difference between you and I is that I will not deceive you by misleading or making you wonder. With that, I should let you know that my respect for you is off the table and so is my heart. I now see your true colors and they are duller than I had expected. Don’t call me up, because you should know I won’t be there. 
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ReplyDeletewow, that is the best one yet. i love your phrasing and the way you capture the moment. i love your decision on withdrawing your heart from a guy you don't respect!! smart girl.
ReplyDelete