When it comes to dating, I’ve felt as if something has changed within me these past few months. I am unaware as to whether my thoughts on the subject have been altered because of my recent graduation or the fact that I am merely becoming a woman. Nonetheless, I find myself differing from my peers when it comes to dating and relationships. As I have mentioned in previous writings, my past was filled with relationships that ultimately came to an end. For almost two years now, I have dedicated my time and energy to growing in my friendships, confidence and my career. Through the many breakdowns and drama life has decided to throw my way, I have seen a change in my dating lifestyle.
I look around at many relationships today and wonder how many couples are truly happy together. Whether I am in line at Starbucks waiting for my iced latte or trying on the latest Sam Edelman has to offer, I overhear relationship drama between girlfriends. During these times, I wholeheartedly wish to turn around and advise the girl to move on. Instead, I settle for one more mental note of the woman I do not wish to become.
With the combination of these mental notes and finding myself, I have ultimately formulated a rule in dating and relationships. Do not settle. Whether it’s the fear of being alone or the pressure of your culture, I believe many people settle into a relationship that more often than not is merely satisfactory. I am not by any means suggesting that there are not healthy and happy couples in existence today. My parents, for example, exemplify one of the most loving relationships I have ever witnessed. This may also be a source for why I choose to be particular in my dating life.
Stepping into a mediocre relationship is like craving a fabulous leather jacket to add to your wardrobe and choosing to purchase a second-rate markdown clearance version because you can’t afford the real thing. When it comes to key pieces in your life and your wardrobe, sometimes the designer quality is worth the wait. In the long run, your money and your heart will not be wasted on something that was not so fabulous to begin with. Do not settle.
It is also important to be realistic. As humans, we are far less than perfect and therefore, you must not hold out for someone that is. Just like the Christian Louboutins you spotted that were custom made for your favorite celebrity, you may have your sights set on the impossible to find.
Think about the woman that you want to be and focus your energy on making that happen. If you crave romance and a relationship that makes you happy, then don’t settle for the clearance piece or knock-off that’s easy to find. It has been said that investments in designer finds can last you a lifetime. Now that is a price I am willing to pay.
