It isn’t every day that you stumble upon a shiny piece of mail that completely turns your day around. You can’t believe your eyes when you grasp the 40 % off coupon sent from your favorite shopping destination. You give yourself just enough time to slip on your newest gladiator sandals before you are out the door, credit card in hand. As you’re swerving through traffic, you can picture yourself in the gorgeous silk jumper you’ve mentally incorporated into your wardrobe weeks ago. You can almost feel the chain feather necklace you have been dreaming about since the first time you laid eyes on it. You can already sense the future looks from jealous girls wishing they had a pair of 70s inspired wooden platform shoes. You can not believe that all of these pieces and more are now reachable.
Excited is an understatement in how you feel as you step into the store. It isn’t long before you are in the fitting room trying on the entire Spring collection. As you look at your reflection, you ultimately begin to fall in love with each piece for a different and specific reason. You love the way the dress makes you feel like a beautiful woman, but the studded waist belt isn’t afraid to embrace your character and your curves. You love that the embellished ballet flats make you feel comfortable but the red patent stilettos keep you on edge. You love that the distressed jeans are very forgiving but the black blazer has an appealing masculine structure. The printed pleated skirt is flirtatious and silly while the cashmere wrap brings out a softer side. Needless to say, each piece complimented you in a different and new way than ever before. For the first time in a long time, you felt like things were going your way.
You can’t help but smile when you can hardly see the sales associate past your pile of yes’s on the counter. The associate then reads your grand total equaling about five months worth of car payments and you joyfully hand over your insider coupon. With a blank stare, the sales associate explains that the coupon is not good for another three weeks.
You feel your heart stop and the world goes dark. Instantly your emotions have changed from joyful and lucky to sad, confused and shut down. One million questions enter your mind as you process this new information. How could you have been so careless to not look at the start date? Why did you have to jump in the car so quickly? After a few moments, you realize the sales associate is still very present in the situation. You find yourself holding back tears of disappointment by remaining calm and collected. You find it important to keep her unaware of your financial and emotional setback. At this instant, you realize you’re in a case of bad timing.
In this kind of moment, you ultimately have four choices. You can run out crying and empty handed, vowing never to shop in that store again. You could buy all the pieces at once and risk payment of your other expenses. You could put all of the items on hold and hope that they would still be at the store in three weeks time or you could purchase what you are able to afford and cherish each and every moment you get to wear them.
It isn’t every day you stumble upon someone that can completely turn your day around. Excited is an understatement when you step into a new relationship with high hopes and new emotions. It isn’t long before you get to know the various aspects of this person. Just like the many pieces you try on in the fitting room, you are ultimately seeing how this person’s qualities fit on you. At some point you will find someone that compliments you in a different and new way than ever before and you will begin to feel that things are finally going your way.
Through getting to know each other, you may begin to recognize you’re at very different places on your timeline. Unfortunately your emotions begin to change from joyful and excited to disappointed and shut down. If you’re anything like me, your walls are now intact in an attempt to remain calm and collected. At this instant, you now realize you are in a case of bad timing.
Again, you are given the four choices when dealt this hand. You could run out crying and empty handed, vowing never to love again. You could put your whole heart on the table even when the odds of winning are against you. You could cut the person out of your life in hopes that they will still be there at the right time or you can accept your chances and cherish the few moments you have that continue to take your breath away.
Remember that time is very precious, but so is your heart.
Neither of which should be wasted on something less than absolutely spectacular.
From the moment I met him, I knew he was different. His personality and humor were as colorful and unique as a rhyme scheme in a Shakespearean sonnet. I was impressed with his ability to speak about romance even as a victim of such a heavy heartache. Looking back, I didn’t take the time to decipher the poems that so gracefully fell from his lips. Like any phenomenal poet, a deceiver chooses their words wisely and finds hidden pleasure in twisting the meanings.
It is almost poetic, the way it ended. Shakespeare couldn’t have written it better himself. It wasn’t until I stood there watching his own words go up in flames that I realized how deceiving he truly was. It wasn’t like a polyester blouse posing as a 100% silk masterpiece. In all honesty, I know these men and I feel that I can spot one from a mile away. It was more like purchasing a fabulous 100% cashmere wrap and later discovering the 15% blend label proving several months of a wasted investment. Don’t get me wrong, some people are content with a cheap blend of narcissism and insecurities, but I am not one of them. I know I deserve more.
In order for a relationship to work, both people must be on the same level of maturity. This is why a number of times a gap in age will prevent a healthy relationship from forming. Needless to say, I have always questioned why people say that age is just a number. I feel that I can finally understand this widely accepted statement through recent events. Maturity is not always reflected in the number of years someone has walked this earth. Maturity is shown through patience, honesty and confidence. Because of his lack of these qualities, it was foolish for me to expect him to be a man. It is now obvious to me; he is still that 20 year old boy he mocked for his dishonesty with women.
It makes me cringe to think that I was willing and ready to play a positive role in picking up his baggage and helping him move on. Not only did he have no intentions of packing up his old wardrobe and leaving it behind, he continued to shop online for new additions to his long list of lies. On the other hand, I pity him for being so driven by his own insecurities that he felt the need to fill himself with the attention of other people. It is obvious to me, he is afraid of being alone. It can be compared to the desperate woman that does not go shopping to buy; she shops only to get the undivided attention of the salesperson. For this reason, I am not angry or distraught by his decisions and deception. I sympathize for his self-doubting nature.
The difference between you and I is that I will not deceive you by misleading or making you wonder. With that, I should let you know that my respect for you is off the table and so is my heart. I now see your true colors and they are duller than I had expected. Don’t call me up, because you should know I won’t be there. 
