The Real Thing.

When it comes to dating, I’ve felt as if something has changed within me these past few months. I am unaware as to whether my thoughts on the subject have been altered because of my recent graduation or the fact that I am merely becoming a woman. Nonetheless, I find myself differing from my peers when it comes to dating and relationships. As I have mentioned in previous writings, my past was filled with relationships that ultimately came to an end. For almost two years now, I have dedicated my time and energy to growing in my friendships, confidence and my career. Through the many breakdowns and drama life has decided to throw my way, I have seen a change in my dating lifestyle.

I look around at many relationships today and wonder how many couples are truly happy together. Whether I am in line at Starbucks waiting for my iced latte or trying on the latest Sam Edelman has to offer, I overhear relationship drama between girlfriends. During these times, I wholeheartedly wish to turn around and advise the girl to move on. Instead, I settle for one more mental note of the woman I do not wish to become.

With the combination of these mental notes and finding myself, I have ultimately formulated a rule in dating and relationships. Do not settle. Whether it’s the fear of being alone or the pressure of your culture, I believe many people settle into a relationship that more often than not is merely satisfactory. I am not by any means suggesting that there are not healthy and happy couples in existence today. My parents, for example, exemplify one of the most loving relationships I have ever witnessed. This may also be a source for why I choose to be particular in my dating life.



Stepping into a mediocre relationship is like craving a fabulous leather jacket to add to your wardrobe and choosing to purchase a second-rate markdown clearance version because you can’t afford the real thing. When it comes to key pieces in your life and your wardrobe, sometimes the designer quality is worth the wait. In the long run, your money and your heart will not be wasted on something that was not so fabulous to begin with. Do not settle.

It is also important to be realistic. As humans, we are far less than perfect and therefore, you must not hold out for someone that is. Just like the Christian Louboutins you spotted that were custom made for your favorite celebrity, you may have your sights set on the impossible to find.

Think about the woman that you want to be and focus your energy on making that happen. If you crave romance and a relationship that makes you happy, then don’t settle for the clearance piece or knock-off that’s easy to find. It has been said that investments in designer finds can last you a lifetime. Now that is a price I am willing to pay.

Putting My Best Foot Forward.

Everything will work out in the end. This is something I constantly mutter to myself on a daily basis. When it comes to tasks, school, or finding the money to pay for my already purchased Frye riding boots, I trust that I can find a way to accomplish almost anything.

Don’t get me wrong, most of the time the journey is like going on date sporting your favorite 4 inch stilettos to look your best, only to find out you’ll be stumbling a mile on gravel to get to your dinner destination. Even if you do twist your ankle or miss your reservation because of your cautious slow pace, you learn from your choices and mistakes.

Of course, after what seems like countless blisters and a box of Band-Aids, you’ll never look at your stilettos the same. Does it mean that your investment of sassy kicks is pushed to the back of your closet forever? If you’re anything like me, the answer is no. Less than a week later, you will be slipping on those fabulous 4 inch stilettos to compliment your little black dress. Keep in mind, you’ve now learned to have every shoe insert and band aid CVS has to offer in tact prior to your next date. It’s important to learn from your mistakes but continue to take chances. I truly believe it would benefit me if I could apply my philosophy of shoes to the relationships in my life.

As my friend and I were chatting about taking chances in dating and forming new relationships, she said something that really struck me. “What’s the worst that could happen?” Instantly, my pessimistic wall went up and I attempted to list off my countless recent downfalls and disappointments in relationships. After sitting for several minutes in silence, I began to realize it has become effortless to take a chance with fashion and strenuous to take a chance on love.

I can see why my risks in fashion surpass my risks in relationships because it comes down to the choice between blisters or a broken heart. To me, it’s not a toss up in the amount of pain or even recovery time. However, I’ve come to realize that no matter how classic your shoes are they will never stand the test of time.

I am blessed with wonderful parents that illustrate love and passion in an extraordinary relationship that surpasses my love for fashion and styling. They unknowingly motivate me to let my pessimistic walls crumble and take graceful steps in building relationships that will last forever. I will stumble, I will fall, but everything will work out in the end.

A fabulous new pair of shoes can soothe a broken heart. Taking a chance on love can heal a broken heart.

Not Just an Accessory.

I don't have many mottos, but one hits my heart like a markdown clearance hits my credit card statement. There is no such thing as over accessorizing. Sure, Coco Chanel’s guidelines for chic and comfortable fashion encouraged women to remove one piece before leaving the house. But even this fashion muse could not drape herself with enough luxurious strands of pearls.

Its rules like these that give people the impression that they are limited to solely one fabulous accessory at a time. Needless to say, I am in complete disagreement. As I look down at my electric blue fingernails and four statement rings, I can’t help but wonder how boring my hand would be without them. They truly bring interest. Whether it's a unique bangle from the streets of Little India or the latest Marc Jacobs perfume ring, my outfits are not complete without an accessory.

Contrary to popular belief, the best accessories may not be square-cut, pear shaped or come in a little blue box neatly tied with white ribbon. In fact, the finest accessories don’t come in a box at all. They come in that person willing to take a risk by loving you. Even though they guard their heart like any fashionista would guard the last Chloe scarf at a crowded sample sale, they chance tearing down their walls for you. My dear friends.

Now, I am certainly not stating that you and my bangles are equivalent in any way. I simply cannot imagine me without you. You only better the woman I am becoming. I believe I have come a long way in evaluating the friendships I choose to surround myself with. Whether I have known you for most of my life or merely 8 seasons, you have been my teacher and my confidant and for that I am sincerely grateful.

Just as I am learning what I truly want in a Mr. Right, I am still discovering what I want in my friends. Without a doubt, my current friendships have spoiled me with more trust and reliability than my inspiring InStyle magazine. I’m certainly not jumping to conclusions by declaring they would take a punch from a classy gal in an ill fitting tank top if it meant I didn’t have to ruin my freshly manicured nails. We’ve been there. You have relentlessly come to understand my insecurities and disappointments even at 2:00 AM with Dior mascara running down my cheeks. The solitary word that comes to my mind is selfless.

I know it’s not always easy to stand by a friend’s side when they’re too busy with the latest guy to return your missed calls. I can understand when the person you depend on most never ceases to let you down by choosing you last or solely themselves first. But I can also appreciate those that continue to shape my life in a positive way. I can safely say I will strive to leave a lasting impression on you.

For as my Calvin Klein boots accessorize my sole, you have truly accessorized my soul.